Awkward Peet!

Sorry for the Delay.... I have been BUSY!!!!! But NOW I'M BACK!!!!

2009-12-03T14:39:00.001-08:00

KILLER JANE

A short film I made!

Single Ladies Gone Wrong Spoof!

2009-10-06T13:11:00.000-07:00

You may have seen this:

Which is SO FUNNY.
I just HAD to remake it...!

Some say that what Kanye West did to Taylor Swift was rude.......

2009-09-16T11:42:00.000-07:00

BUT I SAY IT'S AWKWARD!

The look on Taylor's face was SO AWKWARD! She didn't know what to say, what to do, how to feel.... I caught myself doing the awkward turtle for like 5 MINUTES! But when she just stood there it definitely turned into the super awkward turtle...

BUT BUT BUT

Will West restore his image?

What does West say about this afterwards?

Will Swift forgive him?

Many people are pretty pissed off at him... Me one of them.... He has been a douche in the past so this isn't completely surprising but it's still disappointing. I know that some people wont be buying his new album and won't be supporting him as much anymore because of this.

But West decided to apologize on Jay's new show:

First of all let me say AWKWARD AGAIN!!! When Jay brought up his mom ALL WAS SILENT for like 10 minutes it seemed!! Now lets all do the awkward turtle....!

As for Taylor, she said she doesn't hold a grudge against West:

We will see what happens to them in the future... and I'll keep you posted... But for now just don't buy Kanye's CD's :)

Wait...... Is this a date??

2009-09-11T21:23:00.000-07:00

My friend Lexi and me decided to get together like a brother and a sister playing in the backyard on a Sunday afternoon. Except it was a Thursday night, we weren't brother and sister, and we most definitely weren't in a backyard.... More like the open unsafe Sunset Blvd in LA... Where the gangsters roam... And prostitutes moan...

OK ANYWAYS!

We were just sitting on the Director Guild of America building when a revelation hits..... WE WANT TO HAVE SOME FUN AND DO SOMETHING!

"Picnic" "No..."

"Beg for change?" "...No!"

"Trim bushes in shapes of animals?" "...NO!"

Well it was worth a try.

"Peet lets just go to Target."

So an hour later after traffic and 7 blocks we get to Target, and it was sorta fun I guess until I made the alarm go off because I was playing with a camera to violently I guess... And we ran out of there... On the way back, we decide to go to a Pizza Place. It looks like a hole in the wall but hey I was hungry enough to eat a hole in a wall so we arrived in the parking lot.

There were like 4 people outside.... And the rest of the block was deserted....

Great, we thought.... This is going to be AWKWARD!!!!

Regardless, we walk in.

A cricket crickets.

THERE IS NO ONE IN HERE!

...Before we had the chance to escape, the kind mexican owner at this Italian place greeted us and put us in a booth. We got menus and when we decided to split a pepperoni pizza is where the awkwardness happened.

The kind owner approached us again after taking our menus and reached over us to light a candle.......

.........

Lexi and me just look at each other trying NOT TO LAUGH... SO HARD!

Then Lexi's salad came.

The nice mexican grandma puts the salad on the table, right in the middle.

*screech, she pushes it to my side

*screech, she pushes it to Lexi's side

Then she looks at us

*screech, she pushes it back to my side

She walks away, still looking at us..... AH I couldn't hold it in anymore !!!

We bloated out laughter! HAHAHAHA WELL IT WAS FUNNY!

Then I notice she's looking at I duck my head!

Moments pass and she DEVOURED the salad, I MEAN DEVOURED!!!! (I had some too... Heh, while scooping the food to my plate she dropped a tomato....)

Then the Pizza came.

"Hey this tastes like the kind of Pizza that they have at grocery stores."

LEXI!!!!

"SHHHHHH!!!!"

Hopefully the owners didn't speak good english...

A bite and a half in....

"Endless Love" by Diana Ross and Lionel Ritchie

comes on the radio....

We look at the candle, look at the speakers, look around in the empty restaurant, then look at each other...

BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

IS THIS A DATE OR WHAT?!?!?!

Cheese and rice...

Through the rest of the night after Lexi gets hit on my the owner, I smash a picture in the bathroom on accident, 2 gay couples enter the restaurant, Lexi chickens out to ask for a box so I do, Lexi spits on my food, I get a thy cramp, my flip-flop breaks, and we forget to tip, we decide go up and down Lauren Canyon Blvd twice (30 minutes each time) because we have nothing else to do!

WHAT A NIGHT!

Road Trip to LA with the Sis!

2009-08-17T20:06:00.001-07:00

Meeting New People....!!

2009-08-10T23:23:00.001-07:00

Good news: My sister and I are in the glorious Hollywood, California.
Bad news: Friends are lacking...

So one day we meet up with someone named Franky from the LA area.
FIRST OF ALL...... Word of advice, nap time is needed after a social engagement with Franky.... Holy CRAP!!!! This guy is little, but has a huge mouth!

Anyways - we have dinner with him, which was a headache, but fun.
Then, he takes us to some hill.
As soon as he parks, sis and I are awoken from this haze of constant murmuring and try to realize where we are...

All of a sudden, a white van pulls into the parking lot and Franky gets in before we even realize what's going on...!
...5 minutes later a text from Franky saying 'Hop in the van' - a little late for that!!
Now, sister and I are stuck in a somewhat deserted parking lot on the side of some hill. What do we do?!
We look around in awkwardness.
Silence.
A car or two pulls up after that and everyone is dressed up.
Now it's me, sis, and random fancy people...!

We just stood there awkwardly as another white van approached.
So... We got in...! What the hell, right?!
I swear it was Seattle again because everyone, I mean EVERYONE was asain. Sis and I tried to keep the awkward laughter to ourselves...

Tried...

The van takes us to the top of the hill where a sign says "WEDDING" in front of a building!!
?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!
Are we crashing a wedding?!!
FRANKY!!
We try to call, but there's no service.
Another awkward moment, so we just stand there.
A minute goes by, then five.

"I think it's time to look for him," sis says.
"Yeah."
And where do we find him!?!?
Mingling, yes mingling, with random people no one knows!!
So we walk over to him and on the way notice that everyone is in tuxes and dresses... I am in shorts and a T-shirt. Strike one.

Regardless, we manage to disconnect Franky from the random people he was engaging with and we sit down. Turns out it's just a restaurant on the top of some hill! Ha!

Dresser in the dishwasher?

2009-08-01T00:53:00.000-07:00

So I'm packing right now with the sister unit to go to California. It's 1:00 AM so our minds aren't completely in tact... My sister likes everything anally clean, I mean EVERYTHING. Not only that but organized also... Yes, she uses labels.

Walking past the dishwasher to get an otter pop (yes at 1 in the morning), sister shrieks from 5 feet away "HEY CAN YOU CHECK THE DISHWASHER?!"

So I do, and low and behold... There is a wooden mess...

"Peter! Is it done?!"
"Yes... Um, Jen...? What is...?"
"OHHHH nice and clean! Look what I washed..." Then she gasps.

She reaches into the dishwater and retrieves a pile of wood and cardboard.
"Jen... What is this?!"
"It's my dresser. Aw, it's broken... That's a waste of 50 bucks..."
"...Jen why do you have a WOODEN and CARDBOARD DRESSER.... In the DISHWASHER?!?!?!"
"Oh... Are you not supposed to wash wood?"

Part by part we pull out. Each drawer is like swamp soup.
...
...

"Well that's good to know for next time... Sad day... :(" She walks away, "guess I'll have to put everything that was in there in labeled zip locked bags."

"You would."

Muahaha

2009-07-24T17:23:00.001-07:00

Cops...!!

2009-07-13T12:59:00.000-07:00

It was Lacey Killian, Caitlin Perry, and ME.
We were exploring ScArY places!! We went to a haunted bridge, then ScArY woods! Next stop... GRAVEYARD!!!!!

As we pull into the graveyard, a cop passes us, and the girls start hyperventilating...
...
It isn't THAT big of a deal that a cop just passed us.

Anyways, we go through the ScArY gRaVeYaRd - which by the way nothing ScArY happened - then we leave. It was not even 10 minutes that we were in there...
When we go to turn out of the graveyard, a cop has his low lights on, waiting for us to leave... AWKWARD & ScArY!!!!! So here the girls are screaming "GO SLOW!!!" "SPEED LIMIT PEET!! SPEED LIMIT PEET!!" "AHHH!"

But what was I worried about? Nothing. We weren't doing anything wrong...!
But regardless, he starts to follow us, and then turns his high beams at us, then turns on his police lights...

WHAT?!

WHAT WERE WE DOING WRONG?!?!?!?! SERIOUSLY?!?!?!?!

I pulled over, and to calm us down we all sang amazing grace (click the link to hear us sing!). Well, the cop showed up to the window and we all halted the singing right away! (Awkward!) He obviously asked for license and registration, which I showed him the license... BUT
...
I couldn't find the registration!!

"Um... Heh, it should be in here somewhere...!"
"Is it in the glove box?" he asked.
"No, it's full of candy."
...
"Is this it?"
"No."
"This it?"
"No."
"How about this?"
"...no."
"Well... This is embarrassing..."
(pause)
"Oh wait!! Is THIS it?!"
"Open it."
It was full of candy wrappers and crumbs, which I was trying to get off... He was just watching me... I then held it up to him.
"Not that page, the one behind it."
"That one?"
"Let me see."
...(Insert suspenseful song here)
"It's expired."
"Uh... It's my dad's so I don't know anything about this..."
"Well are you still with Pemco?"
"...I...Think...So..."
"Ok, hold on."
He leaves, we song Amazing Grace again, then he comes back, and we stop.
"So, what were doing in the graveyard?"
"No! It's nothing like that, sir! We were just going to haunted places tonight. Like, we went to the forest, then a haunted bridge, that was scary, cause we were going to see a ghost, but Caitlin wanted to leave, then we..."
"Ok, well you aren't in trouble, because you weren't doing anything wrong, but it does look suspicious when kids go into the graveyard at midnight."
"Yeah I can see that."
"Haven't heard of the haunted bridge before."
"Yeah, it's so fun, I always used to go there last year. I would see things there, it was creepy! One time there was pounding all over the car, then I left cause it was just too scary!! You should check it out and see..."
"Anyways, I was just seeing if you guys were behaving."
"Yeah, I always get pulled over."
Caitlin and Lacey both start telling me to shut up and not say that... Ooops...!
"Well..." I continue, "I'm never doing anything wrong, it's just my luck!"
"Ok..."
"Um, do you want a smarties from my glove compartment?"
"...No thanks... I never really liked those candies anyways. Well, have a nice night, be safe."
"Thanks, bye!"

...AWKWARD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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Movie Premiere today.

2009-07-11T08:44:00.000-07:00

From the movie I was in! Exciting, right? Sure!

...

I really hope there are no awkward stories...
I will keep you posted.

Expired Girl (A song I made up!!!!!!!!)

2009-06-27T23:41:00.000-07:00

Clipboard + Me = Pass Out?!

2009-06-07T16:48:00.000-07:00

Imagine the following:

You are sitting next to me, and we are chattin away like birds on a Sunday morning! Just when we are interrupted by a song: "You are the One that I Want" from Grease!

Well...

We are extremely weird together. Actually, we are just weird PERIOD. But TOGETHER we are just UNEARTHLY! So we start making beats to the music.

I snap my fingers, you tap your foot on the ground.

I hit my hand on the wall, you clink your feet together.

I push you, you slap me.

I pick up a clipboard and SMACK myself on the head, you....

.....

Then I am on the ground. Upside down. My ass is on my bed but somehow my head is on the hard ground looking up...

Um, what?

You just stare at me... Then I laugh... WHAT'S GOING ON?!

"I think I just passed out..." I tell you. (The music is still in the background playin away happily!)

"..."

"I think I hit the metal part of the clipboard so hard on my head that I just.... Blacked!"

"Uh... Well you just looked at me like you were REALLY tired... Then your face hit me in the crouch... And I was like, um, Peet ok, WHAT are you doing!? Then your body slid down me... Uh... and um.... your lips hit my foot... and I was like 'Peet... your face touching my foot...' then your head went CLINK on the ground, and you started laughing!"

...

We laugh about it for around an hour.

Pink Eye... From, MYSELF?!

2009-05-29T11:16:00.000-07:00

Saturday, May 23. It was SUCH a freaking long week that I deserved to go home for memorial day weekend. BUT, I didn't! So instead I was 1 out of 10 people who stayed on campus...

Since there was nothing else to do, I thought I'd sit on my ass and play some Paper Mario! Why not, right?! I deserved to at least relax!

...Here comes the awkward part...

I've always liked being naked. ALWAYS. I wish the world walked around without clothes! So I took off my clothes as soon as I knew I wasn't going out for the rest of the night.

I get my pillow, and stick it on the chair that I am sitting on, so my ass doesn't hurt.

About 30 minutes after gaming some, I.... REALLY had some gas to let loose... Don't judge me! I was all alone in my dorm room AND the windows were open anyways!

....SO I DID.

And continued on.

The next morning I wake up, and I can't open my eyes! WHAT THE HELL?!

I go to the bathroom, and plunge them open, to see that I have pink eye!!!!!!!!!!! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!

...

And even worse...? From what you ask?!

...

Naked + Pillow on ass + fart = PINK EYE!!!!!!

WHAT WAS I THINKING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!??????????????????

A hot chick...

2009-05-18T19:51:00.000-07:00

My friend Andrew is trying to teach me how to skateboard.
FIRST of all.... I've tried before for like 6 months and I learned NOTHING...

SECOND.... This was not a long board, but it was a HUGE skateboard!!!!! There was NO way I could balance on that sucker!!

ANYWAYS....

Regardless, I get on.

I'm in the middle of a bunch of freshman dorms so like a thousand people are watching, but whatever. Maybe they will think I'm awesome if I can somehow, magically, get the hang of it!

RIGHT when I start to move, a hott chick comes walking out of my dorm. I have never seen her, but now that I have I will NEVER FORGET HER! Hahaha!

It was seriously like she walks out the door, and a gust of wind blows her hair as she pulls her hair back with her hands. IT. WAS. SO. SEXY. She looks up at me - my mouth wide open - but THIS WAS MY CHANCE TO SHOW OFF!!!!!!!!!

SO..... I put my eyes back in my sockets and look at where I'm going. I roll slowly. But it's better to be safe than sorry.

I look back at her, she's still watching....!!!!!

The skateboard keeps rolling, when a tiny, TINY, crack approaches.

I hit the crack, the skateboard stops, and I fall off - FACE FLAT on the cement.

OH MY GOD AWKWARD! I look back at her, and she's covering her face in astonishment.... But..... THEN SHE STARTS TO LAUGH!!!!!!!!!!! LAUGH......!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

...............And walks away......!!!!!!!

...

Andrew says "Nice." And I let him ride the rest of the day.

Beth.....

2009-05-13T19:52:00.000-07:00

Untitled from Peet Montzingo on Vimeo.

Midnight Trip to McDonalds

2009-05-05T10:55:00.000-07:00

The night of my birthday, May 2. My sister decides to get a hotel for the night because my dorm "smells like boy".

Whatev.

Anyways!! So we get a hotel, while Tara and Hannah stay with us too for a fun-o birthday night! We have cake and candy - wooooohoooooo! But then we decide we HAVE to go for a midnight McDonalds run! I REALLLLLLY wanted a double cheeseburger...... Mmmmm - WITH FRIES!! OH MAN!! So we RUN to the car and go to McDonalds! (Even though it was like a block away...lolz)

We arrive there having 3 separate orders....

"Sure, 3. That's fine!"
"Ok, well we'll get a double cheeseburger, fries, and a water for the first. The second will be chicken strips, and the third will be fries...."
"Ok. It'll be..."
"WAIT! Sorry!! Can we have 3 waters...?!"
"...ok... It'll be..."
"OH! And can you, oh wait nevermind..."

She gives us the prices... And we drive around to the window.

"Sorry about that.... I couldn't decide!"
"It's ok. Here's your order."
"Thank you! And can I have HELLA ketchup?"

She gives us a bag of seriously HELLA ketchup!!!!! IT WAS A WHOLE FREAKIN BAG! She shuts the window to get the waters...
Then Tara and me decided to "have an argument" when she came back... She opens the window...

"Tara, SHUT THE FUCK UP."
"Peet you don't even know that..."
"Tara, I DON'T CARE, so just be quiet and drive home, or I'm gonna hit you again."

(silence)

"Um... Thanks for coming."
"Tara, DRIVE."

Everyone laughs, but there is a PROBLEM...!!! They forgot the honey mustard!!

............ So we drive around again!
....!!!!! But now there are 5 people ahead of us!!...!! Right when we decide it's time to just back out cause it's not worth the wait, another car pulls up behind us!
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
So I get out, to ask him if he could back out too... So we could get out... When another car pulls up behind HIM!!!!!
............
NONONONONONONONONO!!!!!!!
Tara gets mad and says "Well. Might as well turn the car off."

4 minutes later...
*cars pull up

As our car is still off...
The guy behind us rolls down his window...
"Hey is there something wrong with your car?"
Tara says "No."
"Then can you move up?"
"No."
"Why?"
"I'll wait till all the cars are gone."
"...ok..."

6 minutes later...
We pull up to the window.

"Hi... You forgot honey mustard."
"........"
She goes to the back, then comes again to the window.
"Here."

We drive away.
The End.

AwkwardPeet....Drinking....??

2009-04-29T00:03:00.000-07:00

Well.
Let us just sayyyyyyyyyyyyyyy......
That when AwkwardPeet is drunk, nothing is awkward anymore.... To HIM... (Me) But um, to other people... Yeah, it's worse.

When I say this I'm not indicating that I drink...
...BUT

Let me tell you a story. Is it true? You decide.

So get this. I was taking a mid-term at my professor's house. All of a sudden, when everyone was almost done, I look over and there's like 6 fifths...!! Vodka, crown, tequila, chocolate rum, whisky, and something else. I look away to try to comprehend what I had JUST saw... And I look back... And now there's different kinds of beer surrounding the fifths!!
...Um... Should I leave?
Awkward!!
Or is it?!
So I look around...
Everyone looks pretty chill. Ok, that's good. Well, half the people in here are over 21.
I glance one more time back at the table where the treasures rest... And my professor opens a beer... Um... What is going on?
Well by now everyone's finished with the mid-term, and so was I - so people start walking over to the table... So I do too...

"Hey anyone want sex on the beach?"
Uhhhhhhh........Sex? What?! Awkward! Oh it's a drink... Heh... Haven't heard of that one!
"Sure!" Like 3 people went to get cups.
What the hell, I thought. So I went to get a cup too!

She made a super fancy drink... And super alcoholic-y... Cause she mixed like a zibbilidndion drinks together. Whoa. And it tasted excellent! Mmmmm... I can taste it now. Seriously, it was like an orgasm in my mouth.
About 10 minutes later, everything went... You know.... All over the place...

The following events followed:

- I was singing "A Whole New World" with a guy
- I took at least five more shots
- My professor made me slap him
- I was on the floor snorting from laughing so hard
- The girl I like took videos of me dancing and singing
- I played strip twister and lost
- I fell off a ladder
- Then I woke up in my own bed, sat up, and thought....

F MY LIFE!!!!!

I return to that class tomorrow. My fate awaits.

Zac Efron and Ashley Tisdale Visit my Dorm!!!!!

2009-04-27T11:09:00.000-07:00

Jazz Choir..................

2009-04-22T20:20:00.000-07:00

Lyrics to Jazz Choir Song:

"It's you I like, it's not the things you wear.
It's not the way you do your hair but it's you I like.
The way you are right now, the way down deep inside you.
Not the things that hide you.
Not your toys, or anything else."

---- Then I had to sing it so the professor could test me on knowing my part -----

"It's you I like, it's not the things you wear.
It's not the way you do your hair but it's you I like.
The way you are right now, the way you're deep inside me.
Not the..."

The rhythm section stops and everyone stares at me!!
- I turn red
- The professor hides his face in his stand
- Everyone laughs
- I hear someone say "well we know what's on his mind!"
F MY LIFE!!!!! AWKWARD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

AwkwardPeet - A soothing Heater

2009-04-15T10:38:00.000-07:00

Awkward Siblings Yo!!!

2009-04-12T23:32:00.000-07:00

so me and my sistah (check out her blog here) did a little awkward photo sesh on saturday. it was actually accidental but mad fun! Some of our awkward memories were:

- taking pictures of the guys who were taking pictures of my sis–”oh look, dwarf”! dwarf retaliation!

- did you know that hot dog on a stick gives free hats without purchase? iiiinteresting.

- trying on shades at nearly every store in the mall. who knew that nordstrom’s would be the nicest, with several employees offering to take pictures of us while spencer’s told us we weren’t allowed to take pictures in their store. who likes spencers anyways? lol, i’d never been in one and they are weirdddd.

www.awkwardpeet.blogspot.com

http://hopesprouts.wordpress.com

AwkwardPeet - The Evil Bubble!

2009-04-09T18:03:00.000-07:00

AwkwardPeet - The Evil Bubble! from Peet Montzingo on Vimeo.

Pubic Hair........

2009-04-08T00:07:00.000-07:00

I was sitting in my friend Hannah Moffitt's room, discussing the concept of being tan.
"LOOK! My leg is SUNBURNED!!" I looked down at her leg... ... ...Well, there was a tiny pink line on her leg like 2 inches long...
"Hannah, you could barely call that a sunburn. It just looks like you just itched your leg..."
"Peetra!! (She calls me Peetra) This is a SUNBURN!"
"ok..."
"It IS! Peetra when are you gonna get tanner?"
"Eh... WELLLLLL, I USED to be tan..."
"HA! You, tan?"
"WHAT?! I look so good with a tan! I can tan!!!"
"I'll believe THAT when I see it."
"Fine. But during the summer I compare my arm to my pelvis area, and there's SUCH a big difference! Except sometimes when I show people..." Her roommate walks in... "I accidentally show them my pubic hair."
...
...
...
...
"Hi!" The ice breaker didn't work, she just continued to look at me awkwardly...
...
We just stared at each other...!! AWKWARD!!
Hannah laughs... But it's not funny, it's AWKWARD!
"Well Hannah, I'm leaving...! Bye!" And I leave... Eh... Definitely DON'T want to see her again...

AwkwardPeet Episode 3 - A Game of Pool

2009-04-06T02:58:00.000-07:00

AwkwardPeet Episode 2 - The Bathroom

2009-04-05T12:18:00.000-07:00

AwkwardPeet Episode 1 - Practice Room

2009-04-03T17:16:00.001-07:00

Seizure in English...... THE THINGS THAT HAPPEN TO ME!!!

2009-03-31T21:30:00.000-07:00

It's the first day of Spring Quarter at Central Washington University.
I'm as content as a bumblebee traveling form class to class. The wind was blowing slightly, but that didn't change the fact that I was in a hunky-dory mood.
So I arrive in English at 2:57; class starts at 3:00. Perfect. Right on time.
Class starts, and the professor starts talking about famous authors and poets and other crap I could care less about, so I shift my focus to the right.
There it was.
A girl about 19 years of age just falls off her chair, and hits the floor...
Time stopped.
What the HELL??
It seemed like I just looked, and there she went.... Like my eyes made this horrible thing happen...
WHAT IF SHE DIED?!
This was serious...
I'm in trouble...
But I didn't do anything!
...It seemed like I did...
Time resumed again and the professor stopped. I look at the professor and then the students as they all look at the poor girl on the floor.
WHAT HAPPENED?!
It then went to the next level -
I looked back at her and she started shaking... Violently...
She was having a seizure... A SEIZURE!
Some people started helping her, but I was too shocked to do anything...
Leaving me looking like that ASSHOLE just watching!
Anyways, the professor dismisses the class as she dials 911. Everyone's leaving, but I can't believe the way I feel about all this! It's just weird I'm feeling this way about this poor girl.
But it's ok, I thought, and started out the door, deep in thought, when I trip on her body!!!!!
.............
!!!!!!!!!!!!
?!?!?!?!?!
AHHHHHH!
Embarrassing/retarded/stupid/idiot/asshole-ish!!!
I look back, seeing I tripped on her maybe DEAD BODY, preparing to BOOK IT OUT OF THE CLASS, when she WAKES UP...........
WAKES UP!!!!!!
I mean, WHAT IS GOING ON?!?!
Maybe.... I was being called by the Universe to feel that way, so I would wake her up... Did I save her life??
We just stared at each other, as I'm getting up, and walking back towards the door, and past the door frame.... Then I RUN BACK TO MY DORM LIKE THERE'S NO TOMORROW!
....Now I just wait until tomorrow.... When I go back to class and see her....

One Day Meghan and Me were Making a Music Video...

2009-03-30T16:39:00.000-07:00

...When I fall, and she laughs RIDICULOUSLY!

A Jazz Concert.....!!

2009-03-26T13:54:00.001-07:00

I'm performing at a jazz festival with several other groups from my college.
HURRAY! EVERYONE SCREAM! Cause it's just so damn exciting to be jazzin' away! ...Ok... ANYWAY, so the whole vocal jazz 3 (that's what I'm in!) go inside the auditorium to watch other jazz crap until it's our turn to sing.
THIS IS THE AWKWARD PART.
...!
I don't really know anyone in that choir well enough to actually SIT by them! But hey, I thought, what a good chance to get to know them!!
Agreeing with myself, I walk in with Mae, a very kind 23 year old black woman singing sensation. Ok, I thought, great! This is the start of a beautiful friendship... Even if she is 5 years older than me.
So, I lead us to find a seat! (Suggestion 1. Never let me ever find a seat! I get nervous!!) Instead, she picks some closer to her friends, and because I had a hard time choosing!
I sit down, THINKING she would sit RIGHT next to me.... And I also thought she'd want to move over 2 seats................. Like I did.......!!
SHE DIDN'T!
I was STUCK, in that row, two seats over from her cause I thought we were moving over more!!
Just picture someone on the edge of the row, then two seats down is me, then NO ONE ELSE IN THAT ROW! AWKWARD!!
She probably thought that I thought she stunk or something! And every time we talked, we had to lean over to each other! I wasn't about to move over either, because that would look weird! In the middle of a concert, a guy just tries to slide over to the other seat right next to you... EVEN MORE AWKWARD!!!!!

AWKWARD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2009-03-15T01:04:00.000-07:00

A Game of Pool...

2009-03-04T12:20:00.000-08:00

On February 26, 2009, at exactly 4:04 AM, I was playing pool.
I know what you're thinking!
"Why are you playing pool at freaking 4:00 in the MORNING?!"
...Well, because had nothing better to do.
So my friend and I were playing an INTENSE game of pool! I mean, balls were flyin' and sticks were jammin'! Except he was beating me... But I was prepared to win with a dramatic comeback!
Anyways, this pool table was located in a small room, to the left of the lobby area. So when we shut the door, the sound wouldn't travel and wake the poor sleepy souls up. We planned it out perfectly!
...
About 30 minutes later, I glance at the door, and right there, a girl stands just starring at us through the glass window. She looked like HELL!
"Oh, sorry! Did we wake you up!"
"My room is right above this room."
"Ok, we're done!"
She still stands there.... Just..... Starring at us....
HA! I can STILL see her hair in my head!
Then we leave, and she just stands there.... Looking at the pool table room....
AWKWARD!!!!!!!!!!

A Music Video of me and my best friend :)

2009-03-01T00:28:00.001-08:00

Michael Buble - Everything from Peet Montzingo on Vimeo.

Boob Punch and Clif Bars

2009-02-18T15:10:00.000-08:00

Precisely one day ago, at this fine hour, I had yet another awkward moment... I mean it was like "Super Awkward Turtle" awkward...

I walked into the store on campus, craving some Black Cherry Almond Clif Bars. I was loadin' up! On my way out, I was in line to purchase these very yummy looking Clif Bars. Honestly, I couldn't stop looking at them.... The way they looked... The way they felt on my hungry fingers... I was to shove them up my throat 5 minutes from then - it wouldn't be long till I would have an orgasm in my mouth.... Yummmmm....

BAM!!!!! (Well, not a bam exactly, but it makes the story more intense)

I looked up, and realized what I had done.
This very pretty blond chick about 5 feet 6 inches looked at me and we just stared. It was about 5 seconds before I looked down, seeing my elbow still jabbed in her right boob...
"Um... Sorry about that...." I put my elbow back.
"It's... Okay..."
Unfortunately, the line was backed up so long that we were waiting there for about 4 more minutes.... Not saying anything... And when they rang her up, I watched her leave... Just knowing I would see her around campus now... Great.

What do you say to Rihanna with two black eyes?

2009-02-16T23:33:00.000-08:00

Nothin! Chris Brown already told that bitch twice!

HAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (Inspired by Andrea Curry)

How to Make Someone Feel Awkward:

2009-02-15T12:54:00.000-08:00

Try these out on a stranger...

1. In an elevator, wait until it's only you and someone else. Don't look at him/her, just unzip your zipper.

2. Ring the doorbell to someone's house you don't know, and pretend that you have been life long friends. Walk on in and start chattin' away!

3. Get your credit card out and slide it on through someone's ass! That'll get REAL awkward! Then say, "I'd like to withdrawal $20 please."

4. Dress up as a dinosaur and walk through the mall!

5. Grab a friend of the opposite sex and pretend the female is having a baby! Yessir, right in the middle of a populated area!

Oh, Dick... You Dirty Whore

2009-02-13T13:07:00.001-08:00

Long Underwear

2009-02-12T14:44:00.000-08:00

It's ZERO freaking degrees out, and I kept slipping on ice.... From the look of it, I'm wearing a t-shirt and a sweatshirt...

"DUDE! How are you not cold?!?!"
"Oh, I'm waring long underwear."
(silence)
"...Huh?"
"I'm... wearing long underwear..."
(Silence once more)
(And more silence)
"So it's like to your knees??"
"No... It's to my thighs..."
"How the hell is that long underwear then? And how are you warm? I don't get it..."
"It's just warm fabric! What's there not to get?!
...
Here, let me show you..."
"I don't want to see your underwear!!! Dude, stop!"
"It's not really underwear, that's just what it's called -"
"Huh?"
(I lift my t-shirt up and there and behold a white waffle shirt underneath... Long underwear...)
"Dude... That's not called long underwear! (He laughs, like, a TON...)
It's a waffle shirt!! I thought you meant underwear.... Like... LONG freaking whitey-tighties!!"
"Wait, I thought that's what it was called... My whole life..."
(He laughs even HARDER!) "Nooooo, it isn't!!!"

....Healthy as a Horse... And now this??... My childhood learnings are failing me...!

Chris Brown and Rihanna's Fight

2009-02-10T23:49:00.000-08:00

OMG WHAT HAPPENED?!?!?! This, is what happened:

Chris Brown was with Rihanna after a party the night before the Grammy's... Rihanna got pissed cause her boy Chris got a booty call. This tipped Chris over the edge and he pushed her. When she tried getting out of the car, the bastard threw her back in... He then beat her up, even BIT HER! WTF?!?! He bailed himself out of jail that night for $50,000, while Rihanna went to her home town to get fixed up and look like a sexy mama again. As far as Chris now, well, get your ipods out if you wanna hear his hits, cause it ain't goin to be on the inter-web anytime soon.

When Life Shits on You...

2009-02-10T00:33:00.000-08:00

So, I digg this chick. She's mighty fine. We had this special dinner with just me and her... Ok, and her friends. Anyways, we're eating and having a BLAST! I mean B-L-A-S-T!! Every bite I took, it seemed like that's how much more we liked each other (...bad analogy).
We finish up with the whole eating thing, and then she invites me to a dance! DANCE! WOO-HOO! Not only is this a good on-going date extension with her and her friends, but it also means... hot 'n sweaty at da club... with HER!
I was like uh YEAH.
But then I was like um no.
I'm not crazy I'm not!!! I had a freaking mid-term, ok?! I haven't studied yet, and I REALLY needed to...
But it turned out fine because she wanted lunch with me the next day! (Yes!)
Regardless, I was still EXTREMELY happy she invited me! Too excited, frankly, that I texted Meghan (yeah, remember her? "Healthy as a Horse").
The text wrote:
"MEGHAN! I REALLY like this chick, and I think she likes me... She invited me to a dance, but I said no... But she wants to have lunch with me tomorrow!! Yay go me!"
....BIG...MISTAKE...
The text back wrote:
"Haha, I don't think that was for me."
..........
.....
.....
.............................................
.....
.....
.........................
.....
..........
.......................................................
..........
..............................
YES, it's what you're thinking. HER! AHHH!!!
So I wrote back:
"Oh.... HAHAHA I ALWAYS do that.... haha... lol yeah that was for my friend Meghan haha. It's kind of a joke... haha... lol..."
No text back.
None.
Nope.
zippo.
Zero.
We went to lunch the next day, and it was slightly awkward, but whatever... Life shits on people and you just gotta get back up and shit on it back.
So I did.
We do things together now, thanks to me shitting back on life. We'll see where me and her end up... hehehe...

"As Healthy as a Horse"

2009-02-05T23:37:00.000-08:00

So, my absolute BEST FRIEND Meghan Keenan once told me (like last week lol), "Healthy as a horse is NOT a saying! So STOP saying it is one!"
I'm like, "Meghan... I'm 100% sure that it IS." But somehow, she convinced me that maybe it wasn't a saying... And I got thinking...
...Had my whole life been a lie?
...Was I raised with an incorrect saying?
...Or worse... What if I used it on a speech for English...
OR.... Said it to my crushes, and all I got back was a confused stare...??
OH. MY. GOD.
I NEEDED to know now!!!!!

Through the next week I was pondering the thought of Healthy as a Horse not being a saying... I went through my highs and lows until finally I took a survey. I had had ENOUGH. I NEEDED to know the truth. It turned out 63.2% of the population said no, and 36.8% said yes, it is.
This was NOT satisfying. NOT convincing.
Later that day, I tried to distract my mind; I read Breaking Dawn. It was around the part when Edward and Bella broke the news of marriage to Charlie. And Charlie had said, "I am as healthy as a horse."
Right then, it clicked.
"HAHAHAHA I KNEW IT!!!!!" I texted Meghan. She didn't respond, and I KNEW she was pretending to sleep so she didn't have to text back and admit it!

SO, moral of the story....
TWILIGHT SERIES ANSWERS EVERY QUESTION... AND IS AMAZING!

Re-enacting Salad Fingers!

2009-02-04T18:32:00.000-08:00

Remember Salad Fingers?? Well this is my real life version! Just thought I'd try to be like him... Had nothing else to do today...

Awkward Signs!

2009-02-03T20:16:00.000-08:00

Awkward Turtle: It is the fastest and easiest way to signal something awkward!
SUPER AWKWARD Turtle: My personal favorite!!!!! When something is awkward, but not just awkward.... REALLY awkward... DO THIS!
Awkward Turkey: Was invented by ME! (Peet Montzingo) It is the fastest and easiest way to acknowledge an awkward time! Do this when you just don't feel like doing any other awkward signs.
Awkward Emu: If you ever wanted to involve another part of your body except your hands while signaling an awkward situation, just use this technique!
Awkward Starfish: This is for people who can't bluff. Stretch your hand out and attach it to your face. Not my favorite, but for those of you out there that can't hold an awkward situation, and just laugh instead... THIS is for you!
Awkward Pie (Pronounced 'Pah'): A GREAT way to signal that something was awkward and yet make it MORE awkward! Do this when you just don't feel like doing any other awkward signs.
Awkward Submarine: Beep Beep - There goes the submarine! Do this when you just don't feel like doing any other awkward signs. It's fun.
Awkward Beetle: Get down on the floor and do the AWKWARD BEETLE!!!! All you have to do is squirm and pretend you can't turn over! Not used a whole lot, but is VERY handy in VERY awkward scenarios!!!
?????????? Do YOU know any that I DON'T?!?! ........ Then ........
EMAIL ME!!! - If it's legit then it'll be up in a day!

Recent Awkward News...

2009-02-02T19:31:00.000-08:00

Countdown: The 5 Awkwardest News Stories...

5. Ryan Seacrest High-Fives a Blind Person:

"American Idol" contestant Scott Macintrye, 23, may be blind, but that didn't stop Ryan Seacrest from trying to given him a high five....

(More)

4. Six-Year-Old Virginia boy Misses Bus, Takes Family Car, Crashes:

WICOMICO CHURCH, Va. - A six-year-old Virginia boy who missed his bus tried to drive to school in his family's sedan - and crashed...

(More)

3. A Masked Man Waited in Line to Rob an Ohio Bank:

STOW, Ohio - An Ohio man may have tipped off his intentions when he stood in line at a bank wearing a ski mask before staging a holdup...

(More)

2. Chickens are Chucked at Two Sask Businesses:

TISDALE, Sask. - Police say no "fowl" play was intended by a man who tossed live chickens at a couple of Saskatchewan businesses last month...

(More)

1. 'It's no Kidney Stone,' Doc Tells Woman Moments Before Gives Birth:

PORT DE GRAVE, N.L. - When Juanita Stead complained of shooting pains in her lower back on New Year's Eve, she thought she was passing a kidney stone...

(More)

#1 Awkward Moment

2009-02-01T21:40:00.000-08:00

Three Words:

1. Grandma
2. Boobs
3. Roller Coaster

The story starts out when a grandma (not at the time... but still) is on a roller coaster. Because she isn't wearing a bra, her boobs fly and flop all around. So, about half way through the ride, she went upside-down, and her boobs fell out of her shirt!

"The two guys behind me just kept on looking and looking!"

She claims she was attractive, but uh, hmm... don't wanna think about that now.

I'm a Believer in Dr. Pepper!

2009-02-01T21:13:00.000-08:00

How 'bout a Dr. Pepper commercial?? Mmmmm...
Now go get some of that soda from your fridge while you watch!

A Little Awkward Commercial... Folgers in Yo Cup

2009-02-01T19:32:00.000-08:00

This was like a year ago, but oh man. Anyways, I like coffee, so why the hell not.

Awkward Turtle!

2009-02-01T17:52:00.000-08:00

The oh so famous AWKWARD TURTLE:

So, people don't realize how important this is. Not only is it the thing to do when something is awkward, but it is a HISTORIC MOVEMENT!
People all the time say:

"I made that up."
- or -
"OH! Ha ha, I was at my church's camp-out in 6th grade, and we made that! I didn't think it got so popular!"

Here's my response to that. SHUT THE HELL UP. Seriously, honestly, if you made that up, it WOULDN'T be that popular...
So how was it REALLY made up?
Well...
In 2001, a comedian named Todd Justice was speaking in front of a large audience in Texas. He was doing a speech about awkward moments, and decided to try a hand gesture, that, little did he know, would be the legendary gesture to present in any awkward moment!

How to:

When you're in an awkward moment, place your hands on top of each other, and spin your thumbs forward. Thus creating the creature know as awkward turtle.